Heart Lag

“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.” Marcel Proust

I am finally home in Bend, Oregon. Uganda is some 9000 miles away. The entire trip barely seems real. If not for the unpacked bag of dirty clothes sitting on my floor and my inability to sleep past 4 am, I might think I dreamed the whole thing. My re-entry was smooth. After traveling for 30 hours, I showered and went to my son's lacrosse game. The next day, I made breakfast, drove the kids to school, ran errands, and went to an art opening. On Day 3, I went to the farm with every intention of gardening and prepping the yurt for yoga camp. Instead, I crawled into a cozy hammock. Once I allowed my body to slow down, the exhaustion finally caught up with me and I fell asleep beneath snow-capped mountains and clear blue skies. I slept for an hour before going home, getting in bed, and sleeping for another 14 hours. The physical jetlag can be cured that easily. The emotional jetlag is another thing entirely. Sleep doesn't cure that. It is one thing to travel from time zone to time zone, from place to place. It is another thing to travel within one's own heart. In Uganda, I discovered new landscapes within myself. The BPU crew and Building Tomorrow led me further down the path of inspiration and joy; at Shanti and LiA, I explored strength and courage; and at New Hope, I allowed myself to go into the tangled underbrush of loss, pain, and helplessness. All of these people, places, and experiences expanded my personal landscape. What an amazing gift---personal expansion. How do I begin to repay that? What do I have to offer in return? How do I pay this forward? So many questions. I hope the answers will come soon. Maybe another nap will help...

Blinded By the Light

"As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same." Marianne Williamson

We spent our last two days of the trip working with the children at New Hope School & Orphanage. When I met these same children last year, I made a commitment to return and to try to find ways to make their lives a little brighter. I am glad to have made good on the promise to return. I only wish I could say that things seemed brighter when I got there. Over the past year we've provided bed nets, new uniforms, school supplies, and a new well. These things may make day-to-day life a little easier, but not necessarily brighter. The first day of our visit left me with the same heavy feeling that I carried away from there last year---a weight right in the center of my heart.
On the second day of our visit, we brought some new friends along from Breakdance Project Uganda. I watched as these young, cool B-Boys from Kampala connected one on one with the children who live in this small rural orphanage. They made them laugh, played games, performed for them, taught them breakdance moves, encouraged them to teach each other, and inspired them to perform. As I watched, I felt the weight begin to lift and the light come in. In yoga, we end each practice with "Namaste," which means the light in me sees and recognizes the light in you. I saw the light at New Hope. The BPU crew have promised to continue working with the children at New Hope, spreading the light through music and dance.
All I can say is NAMASTE!!!!!!