Heart Lag

“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.” Marcel Proust

I am finally home in Bend, Oregon. Uganda is some 9000 miles away. The entire trip barely seems real. If not for the unpacked bag of dirty clothes sitting on my floor and my inability to sleep past 4 am, I might think I dreamed the whole thing. My re-entry was smooth. After traveling for 30 hours, I showered and went to my son's lacrosse game. The next day, I made breakfast, drove the kids to school, ran errands, and went to an art opening. On Day 3, I went to the farm with every intention of gardening and prepping the yurt for yoga camp. Instead, I crawled into a cozy hammock. Once I allowed my body to slow down, the exhaustion finally caught up with me and I fell asleep beneath snow-capped mountains and clear blue skies. I slept for an hour before going home, getting in bed, and sleeping for another 14 hours. The physical jetlag can be cured that easily. The emotional jetlag is another thing entirely. Sleep doesn't cure that. It is one thing to travel from time zone to time zone, from place to place. It is another thing to travel within one's own heart. In Uganda, I discovered new landscapes within myself. The BPU crew and Building Tomorrow led me further down the path of inspiration and joy; at Shanti and LiA, I explored strength and courage; and at New Hope, I allowed myself to go into the tangled underbrush of loss, pain, and helplessness. All of these people, places, and experiences expanded my personal landscape. What an amazing gift---personal expansion. How do I begin to repay that? What do I have to offer in return? How do I pay this forward? So many questions. I hope the answers will come soon. Maybe another nap will help...

Blinded By the Light

"As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same." Marianne Williamson

We spent our last two days of the trip working with the children at New Hope School & Orphanage. When I met these same children last year, I made a commitment to return and to try to find ways to make their lives a little brighter. I am glad to have made good on the promise to return. I only wish I could say that things seemed brighter when I got there. Over the past year we've provided bed nets, new uniforms, school supplies, and a new well. These things may make day-to-day life a little easier, but not necessarily brighter. The first day of our visit left me with the same heavy feeling that I carried away from there last year---a weight right in the center of my heart.
On the second day of our visit, we brought some new friends along from Breakdance Project Uganda. I watched as these young, cool B-Boys from Kampala connected one on one with the children who live in this small rural orphanage. They made them laugh, played games, performed for them, taught them breakdance moves, encouraged them to teach each other, and inspired them to perform. As I watched, I felt the weight begin to lift and the light come in. In yoga, we end each practice with "Namaste," which means the light in me sees and recognizes the light in you. I saw the light at New Hope. The BPU crew have promised to continue working with the children at New Hope, spreading the light through music and dance.
All I can say is NAMASTE!!!!!!

"Life is not a journey to the grave with the
intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body,but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming -- WOW-- What a Ride!"

We rafted the Nile today. I had intended to sit this one out. I reasoned that one time down the Nile in one lifetime was enough. I should know myself better. There was an adventure to be had, there were other people ready to enjoy it, and I did not want to be left standing on the shore safe and dry. All I can say now is, "WOW--What a Ride!" After a series of class 4's and 5's, I felt both exhilarated and exhausted. My body was full of adrenaline, fear, Nile water, and probably a few parasites. I was ready to get my feet back on solid ground.

It is hard for me to find my solid ground here i Uganda. I feel like I am being carried on a fast current. Everyone talks about Africa time as moving so slowly. For me, it is moving at warp speed. I have been looking forward to this trip for so long, basically since the day I left Uganda 15 months ago. Now I only have 2 days left. I have no idea what comes next. When will I be able to return? Where is all of this leading me? All I can do is hold on tight and enjoy the ride. What a ride it is.....

xo, Amanda

There's No Place Like Om

"Women are Motherland."
Shanti Teen

Shanti means Peace. Tonight, I am marinating in it. We've spent the past two days at Shanti Uganda, an eco birth center in a rural village in Luwero District. Last year we stomped mud, plastered walls, and laid bricks. To coin a birth phrase, which seems perfectly appropriate at Shanti, we were here for the hard labor. This year we got to see how much our beautiful baby has grown up. We sang and danced with the HIV+ Women's Group in the round house that we built. I got to reconnect with Bubeeri, the shy sparkly-eyed woman who had invited me into her home for dinner last year and Janet, the young nurse who had been present at the birth I attended in a different clinic. Familiar faces are such an incredible gift when you are so far from home.

Today, I got to teach yoga to groups of teen girls who are participating in the Shanti Teen Program which I am honored to be sponsoring. I love knowing that these young women will be nurtured and supported by the Shanti community and will have mentors like Bubeeri and Janet. The teens asked to make Women's Rights shirts. We provided the paints, they provided the slogans. I hope the slogans they wore today on their shirts will forever be imprinted in their hearts:

"Women Are Needed"
"Women Are Beautiful"
"Women Are Strong"
"Women are Motherland"

I have reached the motherland. Om Shanti, Shanti. XO, Amanda

And when we think we lead, we are most led.
~Lord Byron


I must agree with Lord Byron on this one. Whenever I think I am in control, the universe has a funny way of reminding me who's really in charge. My dad will be surprised to hear me admit that it isn't me. I have been planning this for a year now. I have coordinated service projects, created itineraries, and dreamed of leading this return trip to Uganda. Here I am in Uganda with 10 other people and instead of feeling like a leader, I feel led---led by my heart (because surely my head would have booked a vacation on a sunny beach somewhere). Of course, I really believe my heart is only the co-pilot. I have faith that God is also at the wheel. Each time I start to question why I am here, I have to look no further than this dynamic duo. Despite riots, outbreaks, and the threat of severe abdominal distress, I have been led back to Uganda. I sometimes wonder whether my navigational team really knows what they're doing. I question the universe, I question myself, I question everything. My personal mantra becomes "why". Why me? Why here? Why now? Why not Hawaii? The answers come from the people and projects we work with here in Uganda: the teen mothers who are receiving vocational training at Life in Africa & the children who are attending the daycare center we funded there; the students who will study inside the beautiful school we started building last year for Building Tomorrow & eat from the garden we planted yesterday; and the B-Boys and B-Girls who have popped, locked, and spun their way into my heart forever. These are the sparks that reignite my faith and lead me on. These are the true trip leaders in this adventure. I am just going along for the ride, and oh what a ride it has been....

Chindi Chindi

"It is for us to pray not for tasks equal to our powers, but for powers equal to our tasks..." Helen Keller

My friend Jenny sent me that quote as a send-off. It popped into my head tonight as I was trying to follow Derreck, my 11 year old teacher from Breakdance Project Uganda. "You came back", he half said half asked when he saw me. I told him I was determined to learn some of his moves. He didn't hesitate to start teaching them to me. We threw down some top rope and added some footwork (I'm even learning the lingo). Then we went down to the floor. That's usually where all the fun acrobatic stunts take place.I suddenly felt unprepared for the task. I knew going to the practice tonight would challenge me, would stretch my comfort zone as well as my hamstring muscles. I get very self-conscious when people see me dance. I feel exposed for the white-n-nerdy yoga teacher i am. I looked at Derreck, this kid was taking his time to share the gift of his teaching with me. I had to find the powers to receive it. I mangled some of his smooth moves, but I managed to pull off a tiny freeze, basically a long hold arm balance, thanks to my yoga practice. Once I stopped judging myself to be this or that, I realized that I am what I am. Abramz taught me to say it, :"Chindi Chindi." I am a white-n-nerdy lacrosse mom yoga teacher b-girl in Uganda. I got the power for ail that. I don't have to stand on the sidelines watching other folks dance. I can throw my moves into the mix. I've got the power. Chindi Chindi.

School's in Session

"We are all students and we are all teachers." Abramz Tekya

My first day in Uganda. I traveled 30 hours to get here. Fortunately, I have found the perfect cure for jetlag---inspiration. Just as I was beginning to feel the overwhelming urge to nap today (2:00 am Oregon time), I willed my eye lids to remain open while I met with a young Ugandan B-Boy by the name of Abramz Tekya. I am ready to testify that inspiration is better than Red Bull. As I listened to Abramz discuss his dream of empowering Ugandan youth through breakdance, I felt myself becoming energized. When he asked if we'd like to see his program in action, all thoughts of napping were gone. Jetlag VS. Breakdance Project Uganda....no contest. I hopped in a cab and went to my first ever breakdance battle. WOW. I saw empowered youth. I saw inspiration in motion. I saw passion & purpose come together and dance. Afterwards, I got to meet my first B-girl, a teenager named Remy. She taught me a few moves. When she said I was a good student, I felt so proud I could hardly contain it. I remembered something that Abramz said at lunch, "at Breakdance Project Uganda, we believe that we are all students and we are all teachers." I added a few important names to my list of teachers today. I learned so much more than a few dance moves.

Peace out y'all.
Bayou B-Girl